Tuesday, April 12, 2016

My Actual First Published Blog Post! Gently...

Ok. Here we go. This is the third time that I started this blog. Meaning - I’ve written two previous entries that were to be the first blog, but guess what? They didn’t make it to press.

The first was about how I wanted to start a blog, but not from a place of wanting acceptance or approval from others. I didn’t want to write for the purpose of boosting my ego, or pretending to be an expert, or in order to say, “Hey, I’m a writer!” And so my first entry (non-entry that is) was about struggling with this feeling, and how I would attempt to create a blog that would simply share what I was learning in my quest for well-being. My desire to be a better father, husband, friend - human being.

The second blog, was a reflection of my decades of personal growth and change - the significance of each decade I thought of in this way.
“My teens were all about me, about having fun, experimenting and yes, rebelling. My twenties continued to be self-focused and but included learning, developing independence and figuring out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. My thirties were about applying what I had learned in my 20’s - getting serious, working hard, taking on responsibilities outside of just myself, and accumulating. And my forties have shifted back to me again, but in a different way, an inside-out sort of way, with the ultimate goal of how I will optimally contribute to my family, my community and my world.”

And so here I am, right now, in the midst of my third attempt. And as I write this, I smile and gently laugh at myself. Will this entry actually make it into the world of the internet?

Either way, it won’t matter. Because today, I decided to treat myself gently. This is what I wrote this morning. I titled it TEST.

A throw up test. Bubba, my 90 pound labradoodle tossed his breakfast all over the only rug we have in our house. The new rug. The new rug. How long does it stay referenced as new?

When does it make the transition from new to no longer new? To used. To old. To worn out?

What stage of life am I in right now? No longer new - that's for sure. That middle stage. Between new and old. Middle-aged. No way. That sounds awful. How about Gently-Used?

I love that phrase gently-used. A category on Craigslist to describe my 8 year old sofa I am trying to sell? What a wonderful description!

Gently used. Meaning it's been taken care of. Used with care. Kindly. Could I describe myself as gently-used? Do I treat myself gently?

A new goal for me. That’s how I want to treat myself. Gently used. That's how when I realize I'm out of Balance, I want to gently shift myself back into balance. Instead of judging myself harshly, or giving myself self-criticism, instead, I’d like to gently notice my internal dialogue and all my old stories, and then gently refocus my energy on what matters most to me. Gently take a step in a different direction. Gently sit still. Gently go for a run. Gently take a breath. Gently ask my daughter to start her homework.

Gently make this blog entry my actual first published blog post…

Thank you Bubba for the lesson today. I really appreciate you and our gently used rug!


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